The Body Recalls

This week I want to laud and applaud the amazing magic that our body comprises and holds.

I got a healing yesterday. The technique is extremely simple and extremely powerful circumventing years of therapy, seeking or suffering. As I went over the particulars of my contradicting attitudes in my divorce – seeking freedom on the one hand and resistance or even avoiding diving into the fast multiplying (complexity and) papers on the other, I felt a sharp pain in my right shoulder. As I was lead there by my gifted healer, a picture presented itself. As a child at my father’s passing, I’d apparently wanted to ‘shoulder’ the coffin even though its a not really a coffin that we Hindus, carry.

How I remember myself on that day, however, is this non-chalant, most probably totally numb, child sitting amidst a deluge of visitors nibbling away at a cookie. So this new knowledge and picture was befuddling and yet awe-inspiring. My body or mind had certainly not made it up. It had sat there all along perhaps not expecting a visitor, ever. So I cried in silence as I embraced the little girl’s unmet wish and sentiment. This did give me a huge insight into my resistance to letting go… there was so much grief. And later that day and the next, more of this grief visited me and I met it with gratitude and tears.

As luck would have it, my daughter came home from school that day and began speaking on the same subject. She apparently has a girl in her class whose father has passed and since they were making a father’s day present for dads, the teacher suggested that she lay the gift on his grave. I must add here, this is the only time this particular subject has come up at her school! What is also beyond beautiful, is my daughter’s description – that that made the girl different! It does, doesn’t it? Early loss, especially death or some such calamity, does lead to deep feeling, awareness and longing. A bit like a zen master but then with loads of raw, unprocessed pain, in most cases I know anyway.

Later the same day, I uncovered some more magic of this mortal body. At the physio’s, for my overstretched and injured ligaments, as I did some stability exercises, I realised how a simple injury puts the body out of sync with it’s almost unimaginable sensory powers. I couldn’t balance on my injured ankle with my eyes closed and the physio explained why. Apparently, the injured part is swollen due to fluids swimming to that part and numbing the receptors for orientation and other functions. Voila!

So, my body, my temple had gone a notch up in its ‘holiness’ for me. It helped me recall, revisit and even plan my route to my freer, happier self…

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